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Diabolique
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21st Century

 

Dolly  


Not enough people know about the Dolly before '9 to 5' and 'Islands in the Stream'. She was a huge star in country music throughout the sixties and seventies with hits like 'Coat of Many Colors', 'Jolene', 'Lonely Coming Down', 'Tennessee Mountain Home', 'Bargain Store' and so on. If you don't have a 'Dolly's Greatest Hits' which covers this early period, then you are stupid. Run out and get one, now.

We don't care if you like country music or not, you will love Dolly.

Dolly

Dolly is such a huge star and such a huge part of our lives that the House of Diabolique didn't know where to begin when we decided to honor her. There seemed to be so much about Dolly that we could praise - we couldn't decide what to focus on - the movies, the music, the wigs, Dollywood ... the list is endless. It became obvious that such a grandly scaled tribute was beyond our means - because frankly, we are too lazy!

So we decided to concentrate on one song, a song that brings us much joy.

'Me and Little Andy' tells the story of a little girl and her puppy dog who visit Dolly on a cold, stormy night. Dolly takes them in and cares for them, but her efforts are in vain because God decides to kill them.

Sit back, dim the lights and relax. Make yourself a hot cup of tea if you like. If you have a fireplace, start a fire. Get in the mood to hear Dolly sing, not only in her own voice, but as she demonically channels the voice of the little girl as well.

dolly . Dolly

"Me and Little Andy" by Dolly Parton

Late one cold and stormy night I heard a dog a-barkin'
Then I thought I heard somebody at my door a-knockin
I wondered who could be outside in such an awful storm
and then I saw a little girl with a puppy in her arms
before I could say a word she said
"My name is Sandy, and this here is my puppy dog, its name is Little Andy"
Standing in the bitter cold in just a ragged dress
then I asked her to come in and this is what she said,
"Ain't you got no gingerbread? Ain't you got no candy?
Ain't you got an extra bed for me and Little Andy?
Patty cake the bakers man, my mommy ran away again
and we was all alone and didn't know what else to do
I wonder if you'll let us stay with you?
Giddy up trolley horse going to the fair, can we stay all night?
If you don't love us no one will, I promise we won't cry
London bridge is falling down, my daddy's drunk again in town.
We was all alone and didn't know what we could do
We wondered if you'll let us stay with you"
She was just a little girl not more than six or seven
but that night as they slept the angels took them both to heaven
God knew little Andy would be lonesome with her gone
Now Sandy and her puppy dog won't even be alone.
"Ain't you got no gingerbread, ain't you got no candy
ain't you got an exta bed for me and little An..."

Yes, God took Sandy and the dog away. God killed them. But the song leaves many questions unanswered.

What happened to Dolly the next day? Didn't the girl's real parents come looking for her? How did Dolly explain the dead girl with the dead dog in her house? What did Dolly do with their bodies?

Perhaps as an explanation Dolly merely sang this song to the authorities, and no charges were pressed. Alas, these questions will never be answered, and only add to the beautiful mystery of the song.

Listen to Dolly's wisdom:

"I believe in 'human rights' and the Scripture, 'Judge not, lest ye be judged.' I have many gay friends who I love dearly... I've always said that if I hadn't been a woman, I would have been a drag queen. I have seen men impersonate me, and I consider it flattering. I especially like it on Halloween. Then I can go anywhere in Hollywood and never be noticed. All I know about sex change operations I learned from my good friend Jason, who used to be my good friend Suzie."

Dolly, you have become an honorary member of the House of Diabolique for so many reasons that we cannot list them all here - but we will list a few:

  • '9 to 5' is one of the funniest movies ever made.
  • You have your own theme park, which we consider to be heaven and have visted six times. We want to die and go to Dollywood. People should be required to make a pilgrimage. (Call 1-800-DOLLYWOOD for more info.)
  • Your version of "I Will Always Love You" blows Whitney's out of the water. She's never written a song. She sucks.
  • You are the Queen of Country Music.
  • You are a Goddess, a Legend, a Superstar.

Dolly

Henceforth you shall be known as Dolly Parton Diabolique!

Listen to what Dolly thinks of this tribute.



Postscript:
Join us in mourning the loss of director Colin Higgins. Colin wrote and produced the cult classic Harold and Maude and directed the hilarious Foul Play - in addition to directing Dolly in both 9 to 5 The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas . If Colin had lived, we would have no doubt seen Dolly in many more hilarious movies, as they had a fabulous working relationship. To this date no one has utilized Dolly's talents more effectively than Colin Higgins. Unfortunately, like so many other unique and talented persons, he died from AIDS. We mourn the loss of Colin Higgins, and celebrate his legacy with Dolly.


Margot Kidder . Eddie Furlong . Bea Arthur . Dudley . Lamar . Dolly


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The House of Diabolique.
Because sometimes the surface is more important than what's real.
Fuck the real. Embrace us instead.

This website is (c)2003 by the House of Diabolique, www.houseofdiabolique.com and www.machinebody.com. Photographs and writings on this website should not be used without a linked credit. We say this to prevent not the spread of ideas, but rather their theft and/or misrepresentation.

The House of Diabolique respects the artists who have created the musical works presented here. We encourage you to support these artists.

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