10.14.01

I get a lot of lovely emails from you, my rabid fans, and every once in a while I get one from someone who really gets what the site is all about, which is to trick people into thinking I'm interesting. I'm going to share the latest with you because I'm too cracked out from a weekend of debauchery (think three, yes three hot latino boys) to properly think of something to write on my own. Salaciousness has its place, but not here and now. Maybe next week. Hey there, Hello darling. A friend sent me the link to your site back when you had the M--3 for M-------- available before the release of the album. I never visited again until today when a friend sent the link again just to show what you had on the first page. I am bored out of my mind at work, so I went back to it and kept searching through more and more of it. I feel like a total jackass now for never having read anything beyond the first page and pulling the M--3 that I wanted (I'm a HUGE M--------- fan). I've visited SO many sites during my boring hours of "work" for humor and entertainment and am usually annoyed by the lack of intelligence and wit that is so predominant on sites that also contain offensive and debauched themes to their material. (offensive and debauched are,of course, a compliment). Your site is AWESOME to say the least. I love your dark humour and selection of music-which is conveniently sprinkled between what you have written so that I can listen to it as if it were a soundrack to the very words that surround it. In that case, from 1993: 'Master Blaster' by Joint Venture You may go on. Your ability to make fun of everybody, including yourself, made the fact that you project this image of self-importance and conceit so much more funny yet some how valid.... anyway, that's kinda my long winded way of saying I think your site KICKS ASS...believe me, I have much more to say about why I like your site and your stories, but I have a tendency to ramble and I have a question to ask and I don't want to bore you out of your insanity. As long as you're rambling about me, you may do so for eternity. Go on. I noticed your lovely vocabulary, grammar, and ability to quote without sounding like some lame, name dropping fag who reads out of a book of quotes. I was even able to forgive you for the use of the F word..... I take issue with that. I am on record as being opposed to using the word 'fierce' unless used ironically. Likewise I avoid the following words and phrases: 'shady' 'werk' or 'wurk' 'gurl' 'turning' as in 'turning me out' 'cunty' or its evil sister,'kunty' 'Miss Thing' 'ovah' 'gagging' as in 'I'm gagging!' or 'Let me tell you, I was gagging!' The House of Diabolique does not 'gag'. Finally we do not refer to boys as 'she' or 'her' or put the word 'Miss' in front of a boy's name to denote a queeny stature, although persons born before 1970 are forgiven these transgressions. I know you probably could give a flying fuck about my forgiveness, but it *Fiercly* enrages me when I hear these tired ass SF queens who can't complete a single sentence without saying it improperly.  You, on the other hand, were able to show an ability to smoothly shift between ghetto, fag, and "PROPER" dialects.....-ANYWAY-... This led me to believe that you read a LOT and I would love it SO much if you could take out the time to email me sometime with suggested reading of yours. I love to exchange titles of films, plays, books and such with friends and people I find interesting. I found your story and site extremely interesting and I think reading some of the books you love would give me a good insight into your perspective. 'Blindness' by Jose Saramago would be my favorite book of all time. I also enjoy anything about Chaos theory or robots, including 'Robosapiens' by Peter Menzel & Faith D'Aluisio or 'The Age of Spiritual Machines' by Ray Kurzweil, and politically I enjoy Noam Chomsky although lately I'm more into Christopher Hitchens; and however popular I recommend the Harry Potter books to anyone. They are wildly escapist and fun and brought me through my ending days of chemo. They are alive.   Your obsession with robots and being like one produces such a lovely contrast with how human you have made yourself seem within this machine-created information cell in cyberspace of yours. But I really am a robot. Keep up the good work. Something big and wonderful is going to happen to you I expect. I hope so, or I hope to make it happen. I certainly deserve it after this year of Hell. *Yanko* Tenderloin San Francisco, CA - The Best Little Cracked Out Hooker Neighborhood in SF Thank you Yanko for allowing me to seduce you on a weekly basis, although you have little choice. I'd like to finish this week with a quote from 'Lavalampmood', a self-described hose fetishist and voyeur from Maryland who writes: God damn, you are one suave fucker! Thanks baby. Quite right. 'Your Loving Arms' by Billie Ray Martin

until next week remember..

when you dance, we are a part of what you feel.

Last week we offended a minority of our readers by eschewing the use of words such as 'fierce' and 'ovah' and phrases like 'Miss Thing' and 'turning me out'. At this time we would like to issue an apology in fractured Portuguese*. * Translation provided by Nona, my 8 1/2 yr old neighbor who giggles uncontrollably when wearing any of my old wigs. The bigger the wig, the bigger the giggles: A Casa de Diabolique desculpa-se a alguns que offended a última semana em que nós mocked o uso destas palavras: shady, trabalho, wurk, wurq, gurl, ovah, Senhorita Coisa, amordaçando, e girando me para fora. A Casa de Diabolique não amordaça, mas aquela não significa que você não pode amordaçar. Aquele dito, qualquer um que offended é um homossexual estúpido. Se você não puder se rir de, que podem você rir? Moving on, our song today is Electro from 1983: 'Break Dancing Electric Boogie' by West Street Mob I was hard at work for all of you last week, creating Disco , Electro , Freestyle and 80s Pop sections with upgraded audio and each with a fabulous new picture of - you guessed it - me! Does my fierceness - oops - fabulousness never end? 21st century glamour. How is it that I who do not exist exert such a hold? Two weeks from now my birthday weekend arrives. My celebrations are usually legendary and span not only the weekend but the days leading up to it as well. This is because I am as self-obsessed as I am stunning. Preposterously so. As is recorded in our archives , last year I muscled my way into Roseland for Madonna's performance. It is hard to believe that this year's debauchery could ascend to such heights but the glory is in trying. Certainly this is a notable year since I am not only alive but also turning 30. I don't mind getting older because Madonna is the Queen of All Fierceness and she is 43. The laws of time dictate that she will always be older than me. And anyway those who are familiar with my origin know that I am many years older even still. Life is also tritely precious because I nearly died this year. If I had died, think of all the new friends I would never have known. Not only that, but I would have missed Mariah Carey's masterwork, Glitter, a film which is the apex of her creative talents. After 'Butterfly', 'Rainbow' and now 'Glitter' I won't be surprised if Mariah's next album is called 'Unicorn' or 'Puffy Sticker'. I have a friend who worked on a 'Camp Mariah' commercial. One of her tasks was to bring peach Riunite and low-fat Ring Dings to Mariah's trailer. Poor thing. But I digress. Kicking off my birthday jubilee, my friend Rene took me to Wonder of the World, a play starring Sarah Jessica Parker but more importantly Amy Sedaris, my favorite actress of all time, albeit in a very small role. After the show I called Amy a cunt and she called me a cocksucker, and my night was complete. There is however something that doesn't suit me about theater. What gall do these actors and actresses have that we're supposed to sit still and silently for an hour while they 'entertain' us? Our email of the week comes from 19yo Bob in Jacksonville, Florida who writes: You are very beautiful but can you put up any pictures of you without makeup? Your "boy" pictures are the best and I bet you're really attractive. An excellent question Bob. The House of Diabolique - unmasked? Next week our birthday tribute continues, and I will grant your wish.

until then, remember..