06.11.01

First up, from 'anonymous', the simple but sweet:

It's your bitterness that makes you wretched.  I can't wait till you get fat.  Please post those pix, too.

No one calls David Sedaris 'wretched' for being sarcastic and satirical, even bitter, in his writings. And what about Jean Baudrillard? He's bitter, but considered a genius!

As for me getting fat, that is probably an impossibility. I am 6 1/2 feet tall and hate eating. Therefore, I shall more than likely remain skinny forever. But the aforementioned emailer would be happy to know that my abdominal area is still a bit misshapen from the biopsy I had when I had cancer. My surgeon did not leave my body the way he found it, and you'd think he'd be sensitive to these matters, after all his business card (given after the fact) listed him as a 'breast augmentation' specialist! Nice to know I was in such good hands.

Despite this, I am still stunningly beautiful, a fact that I hope irks the aforementioned writer to no end.

Email is a refuge for the weak; people say things electronically that they'd never say in real life. Here's the absolutely meanest email I got during my cancer crisis:

What this person doesn't realize is that I had a monstrous ego long before cancer struck! But as Bette Midler has said:

In any case, I will now attempt to illicit more pity from that kind soul by whining even more about my disease.

Actually things are looking up. Today I had a CTscan which is always irritating but for the first time, possibly because my body is no longer so weakened by chemo, I didn't get sick from the IV contrast they injected into my veins.

Furthermore, my hair is growing back. Normally a dark brown, it is now a feathery ash blond color. I'm told the color will change even more before it settles into whatever it will be, but more than likely it will not be what it was before chemotherapy. I'm sure all of you, including the above writer, will await with baited breath my hair's glorious progress!

But enough about my friend cancer... I spent the weekend in glorious San Francisco!!!!

A friend I only know through this website invited me. Normally I do not like meeting people who only know me through email and this webpage. I fear they expect me to be an outlandish, flamboyant drag queen, when in actuality, I am just a simple, normal boy.

However, I accepted his offer after getting a Priceline ticket for only $150. Who knew that Priceline actually worked?

Said friend really went out of his way to show me a KICKASS time and I must take this opportunity to tell him how much he rocks! Thank you!!!!

He took me to many different clubs and bars, but the three highlights were:

The End Up: A bar/club with an atrociously small dance floor and horrible sound system. But despite this, a great layout with an outdoor area and a superfriendly crowd. While there an attractive young guy approached me and asked if I'd like to hear a poem. I lied and said yes, whereupon he bored me with his verse. He turned out to be a member of a gay water polo team and invited me to his game against Los Angeles the very next day. I impolitely declined, whereupon he said "Besides being hot, bitchy, and from New York, what else can you tell me about yourself?" and so I kissed him.
The best thing about this club is that they are open from Friday 9pm-Saturday 4:30pm!

Sugar: This is what clubs are all about! Although small, Sugar had a great crowd of alternative type fags and plenty of women. I met two British tourists here who invited me to spend the next day with them looking at touristy sites. I agreed until I learned that their first stop was The Gap!

Universe: Finally, a BIG club with a huge dancefloor. Being weaned on NYC clubs, I am a sucker for large spaces. I love them and the bigger the better. Universe is San Francisco's answer to the Roxy. Wall-to-wall muscle and almost everyone on drugs, including me. I did E for the first time in almost 7 months and remembered again why people do drugs - because they make you feel so f*cking wonderful! E sure beats drinking. It was kickass after all those months of chemo to do a drug that actually felt GOOD. How ridiculous that E is illegal while drinkers and smokers can run free!

Besides specific bars and clubs I must also comment on the Castro. Walking into the Castro is like walking into the gay pavilion at Disneyland, with all the rainbow flags and homo gift shops. The gayest sight I've ever seen may have been the group of around 10 muscle homos wearing short shorts in front of a rainbow-flag colored display window full of condoms, wigs and gay Ken dolls. I was tempted to go up to them and say in a very irritated tone "Excuse me, but do you know where the GAY area is, I can't find it?" just to see the bewildered looks on their faces.

I have an idea for a short film in which me and two girlfriends wear huge foam muscle suits with bikini briefs and walk around Chelsea just to see the reactions we might get, but the Castro might be a better place to do this. The Castro is even gayer than Chelsea!

I was still tripping on E at 6:30am when my flight left on Sunday morning. The plane was half-empty and so I had the whole row of seats to myself. I stretched out and took a look at the beautiful old woman behind me. She was wearing a leopard-print scarf around her head and putting on eyeliner and lipstick. I knew exactly how she felt! To apply makeup at 6:30am on an empty plane for a six hour flight is an admirable lunacy. I smiled at her, and she smiled back.

Taking off was amazing, with the sun coming up over the coast and sporadic fluffs of cloud casting their shadows on the bright land below. I felt so lucky to have had such a decadent weekend.. it had been way too long.

James Joyce has pointed out the disparity that can occur between a word's sound and its meaning. For example, 'beautiful' is not a particularly beautiful sounding word, and yet that is exactly what it means. 'Circuitry', however, is a beautiful sounding word, and this is the word I thought of as I looked down at the receding ground beneath the plane.

We have made this world gorgeous through geometry and winding paths. Circuitry -  there could be no better compliment. Such a difference! To be strapped into a hospital bed with mucous leaking out of every orifice for 5 months - and now flying high at 35000 feet.

My escape from NYC was so seductive that now I want more of it! But where else to go? Is there anyone reading this from Vancouver? I have a friend there I'd like to visit but she's busy on a film and so a club-guide would also be welcome. Make contact . Or maybe I should go somewhere else? My favorite cities other than New York are Austin and Atlanta - and now San Francisco.

I am in so much staggering debt at this point, that spending a few bucks to travel seems almost inconsequential. It is almost liberating.

I want to spend more time in San Francisco. Anyone there who has a sublet or room available for any duration this summer, or knows of one, please email me!!

Thanks again to my generous friend who took such good care of me.. this vacation, however short, has wiped away the melancholy that has plagued me since leaving the hospital. I needed to be pampered with dancing, music, drugs, and love, and I was.

-

I've gotten some complaints that Dee-Lite isn't represented in my 90/91 section. Quite right! They were geniuses. We're still fleshing that section out. Here's their first club hit:

'What Is Love?' by Dee-Lite

And here's their breakout pop hit:

'Groove Is In The Heart' by Dee-Lite
 

I was in a music video for Bootsy Collins with Lady Miss Kier. At the time, she was the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen in person. And ultra-friendly, too! Unfortunately I've never seen the video so I have no clue if I was cut out of it or not. What I do know that I have been a curse to every video I've appeared in - none of them have shown on MTV!

Think I've gone too pop? Well the early 90's were a time that certain house songs were played on the radio, and often.

But here's an underground house classic for the purists:

'Samba' by House of Gypsies

Sounds sorta slow now doesn't it? Funny how songs change over time..

Here's some more kickass pop house:

'Pump Up The Jam' by Technotronic

You can't deny the fierce bass line. Technotronic opened for Madonna during Blonde Ambition, lets all remember that!

until next week, remember..
when you dance, we are a part of what you feel.

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If you'd like to read more of my cancer-themed updates: