Join us as we thrust into house music..

'Paul's Groove' by Size Queen Last week we accounced the House of Diabolique's first Online Ball: Send us before and after pics of yourself. The before pic is you normal. The after pic is you as something unlike the first pic, whether it be tanned beach boy, jock, catholic schoolgirl, businessman, raver, Chelsea boy, heavy metal dude or whatnot. My special birthday mix CD, a house mix CD from any year you choose and an autographed silver photo of my stunning self will go to whoever conjures up the most flawless transformation. Points are awarded for realness. It is the world's only interesting online ball! Results are due by Sunday 6/2 at 6pm and only the winner will be announced. We received almost 100 entries from you, our children, and going through them was a pleasure. Fierce (pardon me) girls outnumbered fabulous boys by 4 to 1 which lends credence to my belief that aside from lesbians, girls are much more fun than boys. Everyone looked great but as has been said, ladies and gentlemen, there can only be one queen. The winner of the first House of Diabolique Online Ball is: NIKKI S. LEE.     Here we see Nikki (the Asian one) wearing dull-as-the-Amish glasses and no makeup whatsoever. She sports a bored, sloppy looking girl on one arm. Nikki can be nothing else but a lesbian! Costume: 7 Realness: 10 Originality: 8 Here, fabulous Nikki braves the squalor of the East Village by wearing dirty garments and sitting in the filthy gutter with an unwashed punk. It works. Costume: 9 Realness: 10 Originality: 9 As if to mock us for so easily falling for her punk look, here she drinks beer with assorted yuppies, becoming one herself. A successful, if dull transformation. (Why would you want to look like a yuppie?) Costume: 7 Realness: 10 Originality: 7 Here is Nikki's pièce de résistance where a leopard print bikini top, oversized name pendant, doorknocker earrings and best of all, unblended lipliner combine to turn Nikki into the most satisfying Latina homegirl I've seen this side of Avenue B. Costume: 10 Realness: 10 Originality: 10 10's across the board! Congratulations, Nikki! No other contestant sent such a variety of looks and although everyone looked great, none had your audacity or success. Those of you familiar with the photo world may be grumbling: 'Unfair! Nikki S. Lee is a professional photographer, surely she should have been disqualified!' There were no rules in this contest other than to send photos that changed your look, which she did with verve and success. Such a level of competition should light a fire under everyone else for the next Ball! Nikki wrote: 'I am a fan of your website and I love your self-portraits... I love what you wrote this week and I realize that some of my photos would be suitable for your ball... Please find attached myself as a lesbian, punk rocker, yuppie, and Hispanic girl. I want to win your CDs and will hang your autographed photo on my wall! Who knows maybe I will be you in my next photos! Nikki, we are honored that you entered our contest. Look forward to receiving our CDs and an autographed photo. But know that my photo will provide you with as much frustration as inspiration; one can never be me. You may be the ruler of this ball, but it is a legend who lasts forever and there is only one.. Diabolique. ---- And now, the results to our follow-up ball.. --- 'Walk' by Size Queen Our next ball was a brilliant idea on my part because almost every day, cute boys around the world would send me their cute pictures! Male Face, Male Body: Be it young or old, nerd or jock, who will make us lust for the *#!*( ? i.e. cute boy contest. What do you have to lose? Prizes: - my special birthday CD - 3 house CDs mixed by the House of Diabolique - an autographed picture of myself - immortality within the House of Diabolique After much deliberation, the judges and I had no idea who should win. Everyone was so damn cute. What a decision to have to make! Special mentions go to DAGOOD2000 (HOT!), TommyN72 (yummy, and your dog too!), and Jason S (f-l-a-w-l-e-s-s). But our winner is Tommy. I find him supercute! Now lets check my compatibility with Tommy. His likes include: The colors Lime, Orange & Brown I do enjoy those colors. So far, so good. Italian Fashion Houses, glamour, artsy fartsy things, margaritas with salt, intelligence, travel, to sleep for 10 hours uninterrupted... Ditto on all counts! long walks in the park, fresh rain on hot summer pavement, flora/fauna (I have a green thumb).. Hmm.. our first incompatibilities. I hate nature, could give a crap about rain and despise plants! His dislikes include: a cold harsh winter wind on my face, uh oh, he sounds a little like Rocky Dennis.. a condescending tone, hopefully he'll still like me.. stupid people, cats, sweatpants, a summer cold, chaos, I agree with all except I enjoy chaos (theory).. and lastly people who say there gonna do something, then do not. Very good! An ambitious cutie. Too bad he has a boyfriend. NEXT! Grand Prize / Transformation Du Jour: God gives us one face, but we make ourselves another. Lets see yours. Serve yourself, serve your spirit. Prizes: - my special birthday CD - 3 house CDs from any years you choose - a classic electro CD - an autographed photo of myself - immortality within the House of Diabolique and, three prizes generously mopped, err, donated by our 'sponsors': - an Aveda gift box - Keihls gift box - Carrie on DVD The winner is a 14yo boy named Jake. Jake sent in a 15 minute video documentary on himself that completely floored me. If gay pride is about creativity, which is what it should be, then Jake embodies gay pride (even if he isn't out of the closet yet). 'Today I Become a Man' featuring Jake It is strange to see someone so young evincing such old-school drag. Have I had no effect on him? I remain unique.. the only drag queen who is a robot and does not really exist! On a last note, a word to the detractors over the years who have critiqued my critique of 'gay pride' becoming too commercialized. If in fact commercialization is what we're supposed to be after, then why does pride cost us so much? Why do the clubs charge upwards of $100 on pride weekend? If all these corporate sponsors are pumping money into our community, why do we have to actually pay more to go out and celebrate? Shouldn't we be paying less? The big clubs are a rip-off this weekend. I boycott anything over $10. For me pride effervesces through creativity, humor, and kinship, not the club I'm paying to get into, the drugs I take or the t-shirt I bought at 'Rainbows and Triangles' or the gay gift shop at SBNY. Pride Realness = The House of Diabolique

until next week, remember.. when you dance, we are a part of what you feel.

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