Join us as we thrust into house music.. Week of 9/7/03 Last week we opened our mailbag to anyone seeking advice. It is true that we hold the answers to all of your questions. Here are just two for your edification and enjoyment. First, an all-too-common gay plight: Dear House of D,I could use your advice. Slightly embarassed to even be asking this. I'm a gay male mid 20's. I have this straight male friend. We've been friends for years, and I totally attracted to him, always have been. Years ago I told him, but it kinda blew over. Nothing came it, except his girlfriend then, calling him gay for continuing to be friends with me after admitting this to him. We stayed friends for a few years after that, even lived together for awhile. Well, he lived with me anyway. He moved out and we lost touch for about two years then out of the blue he calls me up and wants to hang out. He lives with his girlfriend and shes cool, in fact we are like the 3 muskateers. We hang out all the time. Go to concerts, chill at home, etc. The problem is, I'm more into him than ever. I fantasize about him all the time. Now I know every gay guy that has a crush on a straight guy, thinks they could be gay if they show even the slightest sign of anything. But sometimes I feel a vibe. what should I do? -sb from DC Yearning after a straight man is a fool's game and your pursuit of him is pathetic. Every moment you spend with him is a moment you could be spending with someone else, anyone else, preferably someone gay who could give you the love and sex that you deserve. Gay men as a rule tend to trade whatever free will they have for the pursuit of drugs or sex, or both. In any gay sex club or online chat room you're likely to find people who have spent hours and hours enslaved to their hardwired, animal yearnings for sexual pleasure. It is time that they could have spent productively elsewhere. Likewise your pursuit of this straight boy. What if, someday, in a drunken reverie, your straight crush allowed you blow him? So what? For years you'd have given up your free will to him just for a few minutes of dicksucking bitch pleasure while he looks the other way and pretends it's his girlfriend. Is all of your emotional distress worth that? I have made it a rule in my life to never settle for anything. If friends are going to a party on a Saturday night not because it will be fun but because it's "the only thing to do", then I'm likely not to go. Time spent at that party is time that could have been spent doing something else, anything else that would enrich my life and broaden the world I live in. Settling for anything means willingly putting yourself into a rut from which it will be hard to extricate yourself once you realize you're stuck there. Your puppy-like dedication to a straight boy and his girlfriend amounts to nothing more than you settling, settling for years of unjustified desire and emotional torture. This guy is no more likely to turn gay than you're likely to turn straight because some self-destructive, pitiful faghag has fallen in love with you. The attachment you feel is stupid and masochistic. It will be hard to break free from the emotional ties that bind you to him but break free you must. You only live once and you've already wasted too many precious years beating for this jackass. Next: I'm finding that I need affection these days.Humans have failed me. Should I get a) a cat; b) a dog; c) a robot; d) none / all / other. --Fernand in Ottawa Robots do not give much affection either. Ask any of my friends and they will tell you: I am selfish, rude, boring, not fun to be around, and hard to get on the phone. Most people hate me soon after meeting me, if not before. It is a wonder I am not attacked by crowds. That leaves dogs. Get a dog. --- On a musical note, here is a great nu-electro song from earlier this year that I've inexplicably held on to. If you haven't heard it, enjoy. Great songs ought to be savored and this is one of them: And this is for 9/11.
"The
city, for the first time in its long history, is destructible.
A single flight of planes no bigger than a wedge of geese
can quickly end this island fantasy, burn the towers, crumble
the bridges, turn the underground passages into lethal chambers,
cremate the millions. The intimation of mortality is part
of New York now; in the sounds of jets overhead, in the
black headlines of the latest editions. I love my freedom, I love New York, and I love my friends, old and new. until next week,
remember.. |
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